The little town that I live in seems to have as many antique shops as coffee stands, and since I’m the Great Northwest, that is more than a few.
I’m not a collector or connoisseur of antiques, but when I make the time to visit one, I’m often reminded of the saying “One man’s trash is an other’s treasure”. In these shops will wait items in various stages of use or abuse that someone was finished with, but there remains hope that someone else will be attracted to some feature or another. Sometimes that feature is called patina by the shop staff.
Some will look at corrosion, or a dent, or a scratch, or a crack and see a problem exposed to the world. A reason to move on to a more presentable item. Some will see an opportunity to greater profit, a challenge to be rubbed out, cleaned, straightened, or replaced. Still others may see a beauty mark, the sign someone used the item as a significant part of their life.
The other day while listening to a podcast featuring Dr. Nicole LaPera, the guest presented the question whether or not an attempt to break free of an emotional cycle should be about removing the wounds created during that cycle (approx 1hr 14min into the School of Greatness episode). I had a nearly visceral reaction, I wanted to stop and argue against that right way. I wanted to stop where I was and write this post immediately, but instead I made a quick note on my voice recorder and continued to my next job.
Like a damaged antique, there is sometimes more value if the character is left intact. Also, most work to cover flaws, covers much more than just the blemishes, and often doesn’t disguise the flaw very well. If someone works to eliminate the emotional wounds from a bad relationship, it’s likely that they will miss a spot or two, and even more likely that they may do away with something special or even unique that the relationship brought into their life.
I want to argue that instead of hiding these wounds, trying to cover the warts and blemishes of our experience to date, we should open up about them, share them with our communities. Let the light shine out through the cracks in the globe of our lantern, let our people know what we went through when they are in a place to listen to the story.
The greatest successes in the self help sphere seem to be people who were damaged, yet found a way to share their pain and grow through the sharing. These people who were struggling to find a way to change the world, then found that by telling the story they would attract a vibrant following, and together with that community began the healing in earnest.
The work these successes were doing led them to shine their light through the cracks in their lanterns, but people saw value in the work, and some really connected with the light that poured through the broken globes. Those that were attracted to the unique light, share that light with their communities, sometimes letting their own cracks show and starting their own healing.
The work we do shines out onto the world, and we can choose to put shutters on the light, attempting to hide the cracks, or we can choose to remove the shutters and let all the light out into the world. Shining light through the cracks can help us tell the stories, and help us lead others out of painful situations and to faster healing.
Some will see the cracks and only see something to be cast off. These are not your people, don’t be concerned with them. Some will not even notice the cracks, seeing only the light. Serve these as your abilities allow.
This service will spread your light. As you continue in this service, telling your story, shining your light through the cracks that are your wounds, some will see a beauty in the cracks. These can become the community that helps to heal you. These can be the people that magnify your light and attract more people to learn from your pain, and interrupt the cycle that they may be trapped in.
So, there you are. If you are wounded or living in pain, please don’t hide or disguise it. Do your work, share your story, let your light shine out through the cracks and all. Things won’t change over night, but it is likely that your community will start to recognize that you belong and then together the healing can begin.
With time that healing and other work in your community can help your perspective on your wounds change from cracks to be afraid of sharing, to cool wounds to commiserate over like an old veteran
This post is brought to you by the School of Greatness podcast by Lewis Howes.